Life by Design

Create the Life You Envision for Yourself!

Happy Man

May 2, 2018

I'm Regina.
Psychologist, executive coach, and functional medicine health coach and my mission is to help you truly thrive. Let's get to work!
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This Is Your Life!

Oftentimes, we are pushed to think of others instead of ourselves. And in many ways, this benevolent, compassionate way of thinking leads to positive outcomes. Being selfless is a valuable trait, and we look for it especially in our leaders. But there is such a thing as being too selfless, to not think of yourself enough. And when that happens, you can find yourself feeling resentful. An example might be your friend asking you for help on a personal project. Initially you are happy to help, but she keeps asking for more commitment and more sacrifice on your end, giving up your time and even your money on her behalf. When you ask for reciprocation, some kind of assistance on a project of yours, she claims to be too busy to help. This is a situation where being too selfless can actually lead to resentment and adversely affect the relationship. You need to make sure that even while striving to be a compassionate person, your wants, needs, and goals are still being met, and that you put yourself first in some situations. Check your boundaries to not sell out on yourself!

Don’t Neglect Yourself Helping Others

Have you ever felt completely drained when listening to someone else vent about their problems? Being a sounding-board for your friends and family is compassionate. However, lending an open ear to everyone who needs it may leave you feeling drained. And who is there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on? Are the people you come to rescue whenever they need help available and able to do the same for you? Most people are happy to return the favor, as long as you let them in. Carrying your own problems all by yourself may leave you feeling like you are doing all the emotional lifting in the relationship, and that is where the problem begins. Open up to others and ask for a favor in return!

Your Wants, Needs, And Goals Are Valuable

Most “helpers” are good at neglecting their own needs. If this is you then make sure that your personal wants, needs, and goals are a priority! Most likely you can’t focus entirely on yourself while you lead, listen, and care for others. But if you don’t make yourself a priority you can’t be there for others. You will burn out and eventually feel anger and resentment. Make sure that you take time out of your schedule to focus on your needs. Everyone will benefit when you are healthy, happy, balanced and fulfilled, and you won’t have to deal with the feelings of annoyance, resentment, and anger that come along with neglecting your heart. Which brings us to our last point:

Happy Business Man

You Don’t Get To Do This Twice—Follow Your Heart

You only get one life. Make sure that you follow your heart and work hard to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes that will mean you won’t have the time to be as compassionate as you want with others. That is okay. If you make an effort to help other people, it is important to focus on your own goals as first. As easy as it sounds to follow our dreams, it is the hardest thing to do for many. Let us help you take the first small step to creating a meaningful and fulfilling life!!

* Happy Man image credit goes to: Chang Duong.

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